hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my shit smells like andre
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
