I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Couch. On fire.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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