i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
