I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
