You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
