I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
