at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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