I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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