Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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