I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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