Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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