You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
