what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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