Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
