Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
