I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
