I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
