bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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