I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
