yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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