Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
