I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
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I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize