She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am one with the molecules
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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