Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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