I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
