I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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