i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
