Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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