Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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