So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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