He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
