You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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