just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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