Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
