just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
