I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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