I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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