called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
