Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize