i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
