the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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