This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
