She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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