Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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