Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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