she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
they're like a gay fantastic four
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
