hotel room ftw
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
