I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
