Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
