i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize