I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i've created a new STD.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
