so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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