if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
