Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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