this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
