my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
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After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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