Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
