My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize