That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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