Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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